Dealing with numbers and figures and than organizing them in a form of design is what statistics and mathematics is all about. Both these subjects are taken as the driest subjects but they have important implications in the practical life. Using the numbers, collecting and gathering data in the form of surveys and experiments are the basics. You may have studied these subjects in your student life, though boring but are very important in the professional fields. People who have sharp interest in these subjects can solve the problems with an ease but most of the students take this subject just as a formality to be fulfilled in the student life. To know the basics is sometimes good enough if you are not a mathematics person. To solve a problem full of numbers and figures can be great fun and no less than a challenge. If you are person who is interested in these subjects, you will surely enjoy our collection of jokes about statistics and mathematics.
1) Three statisticians went out hunting, and came across a large deer. The first statistician fired, but missed, by a meter to the left. The second statistician fired, but also missed, by a meter to the right. The third statistician didn't fire, but shouted in triumph, "On the average we got it!"
2) Q: Why did the mathbook kill himself?
A: Because nobody understood him.
3) What is the difference between logic and statistic?
Logic is a systematic method for getting the wrong conclusion with confidence.
Statistics is a systematic method for getting the wrong conclusion with 95% confidence.
4) Teacher asks student: What is the half of 8?
Student: Miss horizontally or vertically?
Teacher: What do mean?
Student: Horizontally it is 0 and vertically it is 3.
5) "Why are you moving? You have arrived to this lovely neighborhood just a few weeks ago."
"Yes, but I read in the local paper a bit of statistics that said, 'most auto accidents happen within eight miles of your home'."
6) Why mathematicians are afraid drive a car?
Because the width of the road is negligible comparing to its length.
7) What do you call a tea party with more than 30 people?
A Z party!!
8) Q: What does the zero say to the eight?
A: Nice belt!
9) Why did the statistician take Viagra?
Since his sample was large, he did not want to be rejected with a small p-value and be declared practically nonsignificant!!
10) Q: Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach?
A: Because they have sine and cosine to get a tan and don't need the sun!
11) How do you know you're talking to an extroverted statistician? He's looking at YOUR shoes.
12) What is the integral of "one over cabin" with respect to "cabin"?
Answer: Natural log cabin + c = houseboat.
13) What a statistician can do?
A statistician can have his head in an oven and his feet in ice, and he will say that on the average he feels fine.