Funny Army and Military Jokes

Army or military is the sign of defense, power and prosperity for every country. Without army, we cannot imagine the safety of any nation or country. This is the arm that protects the boundaries of its country and protects its people during the time of attack from any other country. Normally, we use the word army only for the forces that fight on the land. There are two other types of forces that are called air force and navy force. However, collectively we call these three forces as military of any country. There is very beautiful saying about military or army of any country that army people do not think with their mind; they know just to obey the orders of their seniors. This is the reason that has compelled many writers to write some funny jokes about military or army people. here are some funny jokes about military and army persons.



1. First soldier : “Pass me the chocolate pudding, would you?”

Second soldier : “No way, Jose!”

First soldier : “Why not?”

Second soldier : “It’s against regulations to help another soldier to dessert!”


2. Officer: "Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?"

Soldier: "Sure, buddy."

Officer: "That's no way to address an officer!

Now let's try it again!"

Officer: "Soldier. Do you have change for a dollar?"

Soldier: "No, SIR!"


3. The Pentagon once did a study on why so many American Servicemen marry women in the countries where they're stationed. Contrary to popular belief, loneliness had nothing to do with it. Once the men rotated back to the US, all their in-laws were thousands of miles away.


4. The first woman recruit in the Army reported for duty and was told that although her quarters would be in a separate building, she was to mess with the men.

 It wasn't until four weeks later someone finally told her that meant to eat her meals with them.


5. Two army rules:

#1.The commanding officer is always right.

#2.If the commanding officer is not right, see #1.


6. A general calls a colonel:

- Do you have a couple of smart majors?

- Yes Sir,  I do.

- Send them to me. I need to move my furniture around.


7. "I suppose," snarled the leathery sergeant to the private, "that when you're discharged from the Army, you'll wait for me to die, just so you can spit on my grave."

"Not me," said the private. "When I get out of the Army, I never want to stand in line again."

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