Different speakers and presenters (no matter from where they are) are agreed on one thing that it seems for friendly and attractive to start your presentation with a joke or a funny quote. The only thing that should be focused in this context is that, that funny joke or funny quote should be actually really funny and should be relevant to your topic. These two things are really important and deeply connected to each other. If the joke is funny enough to make someone laugh but is not relevant to your topic and you unfortunately just speak that in front of everyone, you would look no more than a fool. Similarly, if the joke is perfectly relevant to your topic but is not funny, ultimately you would find that audience is staring at you and you again would seem like a fool. So be very careful while selecting a joke.
1. If you want to be a successful business man you have to follow this law:
If your neighboring shopkeeper put the board of ‘lowest prices’, you put the board of ‘main entrance’.
2. A CEO was standing still in the meeting room. When an employee asked why he is just standing and not speaking, the CEO began like this
CEO: We passed over a lot of good people to get the ones we hired.
3. Be responsible but not like this one:
Employer: "In this job we need someone who is responsible."
Applicant: "I'm the one you want. On my last job, every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."
4. CEO to employees: “We are going to continue having these meetings, everyday, until I find out why no work is getting done”.
5. One an angry boss started his speech with this sentence: The beatings will continue until morale improves.
6. Once a boss asked how to be competitive in the market?
Project manager: jus pay less than your competitors and you will be competitive.
7: "I see you were last employed by a psychiatrist," said the employer to the applicant. "Why did you leave?"
"Well," she replied, "I just couldn't win. If I was late to work, I was hostile. If I was early, I had an anxiety complex. If I was on time, I was compulsive."
8: "Is your advertising getting results?" asked one business owner.
"It sure is," moaned the second owner. "Last week we advertised for a night watchman ... and the next night we were robbed."
9: An interviewer asked the interviewee, "What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?"
He said, "Call for backup."