17 Funny Jokes about Football and Soccer

Sports in its every form are entertaining and fun filled. Whether you play or watch the excitement level remains high. Football and soccer are the widely viewed sports and have a large number of audiences. It is played between two teams of 11 players each with a ball and with a set of rules. Football basically involves several sports played with a ball to score a goal. The best way to entertain your children is to engage them in their favorite sport. After studies, they can play and enjoy their time playing football and soccer in school or at college. An active participation in sports is necessary for physical and mental health. Since to play football and soccer all you need is a playground which is an essential part of schools and colleges as well, so it becomes easy for children and adults to play their favorite sports. If you are also a football and soccer lover, we have a collection of jokes for you to enjoy and share.



1) What is Football?
It has been described as a game with twenty-two players, two linesmen and 20,000 referees.


2) Q: What do you get if you see a Leeds United fan buried up to his neck in sand?
A: More sand.


3) Striker: "I had an open goal but still I didn't score. I could kick myself."
Manager: "I wouldn't bother. You'd probably miss."


4) Q: How many Manchester City soccer fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None - they're quite happy living in the shadows.


5) Q: What tea do footballers drink?
A. PenalTea!


6) Which goal keeper can jump higher than a crossbar?
All of them, a crossbar can't jump!


7) How do hens encourage their football teams?
They egg them on!


8) Gibby: Wahey Boss! ken that jiggisaw puzzle I wiz doing? Yeel never guess - I've finished it and only took me 6 months!
Walter Smith : Well, what's so good about 6 months???
Gibby: Like it says Gaffer - on the box it said '3 to 6 years'


9) Why do grasshoppers not go to many football matches?
They prefer cricket matches!


10) Q: Why did the soccer player hold his boot to his ear?
A: Because he liked sole music


11) When fish play football, who is the captain?
The team's kipper!


12) You know what they say about guys with big hands!
There good goalies!


13) Q: What part of a football pitch smells nicest?
A: The scenter spot!


14) What’s 4ft long and keeps a c-nt warm
A kopites scarf


15) Q: How did the footbal pitch end up as triangle?
A: Somebody took a corner!


16) My son has the making of a soccer hooligan...
He threw a bottle at the referee yesterday...
I wouldn't mind, but he broke the TV screen, at just 2 years!


17) How do you stop squirrels playing football in the garden?
Hide the ball, it drives them nuts!

What's More


No comments yet! Be first to comment
* Required Fields
Your Name *
Your Email *
Message *